Judy La Salle: The luckiest people in the world

I'm trying to think if I know anyone who always wins and never loses, and of course I don't. Even so, it's true that some people seem to be "luckier" than others. It's as if they really do have the Midas touch. Whatever they undertake appears to prosper and they make it look incredibly easily. When they make an investment, it gives a great return in record time. If they enter a contest, they win -- hands down. If they learn a new skill, such as cooking or biking, they become experts overnight. While the rest of us are trudging along in their dust, doing our best to make it to mediocre, they sail ahead, occasionally looking back as if to ask, "What's keeping you?"

If we looked closely, I'm sure we would find lots of setbacks in the lives of those "lucky" people, but they aren't obvious, on the surface. That's partly because we make assumptions about how easy things are for them, which is due, in part, to their own attitudes. They believe things are good, no matter the struggle or the immediate outcome.

They are optimistic. The way they see it, if they don't make the goal this time, they're bound to place during the next round, or at least gain something from the experience. Because of their approach, we see them as winners and we sometimes attribute it to luck.

Judy La Salle -

People who know how to get the most out of life know what to minimize and what to optimize. They play down the less-than-perfect bits.

As I write this, a childhood friend comes to mind. He had it made. He had a great personality, was intelligent, talented in sports and music, and was strong in his faith. He was also very kind. There was only one thing that wasn't quite "right" for him, and it wasn't obvious because he tended to hide it from most people.

When we all went water-skiing he wore a T-shirt, even in the water. Later he told a few of us he had some severe scarring on his chest and back from a childhood accident and he admitted he was very self-conscious about it.

I look back on him as a young man and can see how he might have let those scars become the overriding theme of his life. Had he done so he would have had an entirely different image of himself and he might have wasted many of his talents. Now that I'm older I better appreciate the fact that he didn't let that happen, because I'm sure it wasn't easy. I'm also old enough to realize that most people have scars of some sort, to varying degrees.

My point is, to others, my friend appeared to have all the luck, because his attitude gave the impression that his life was charmed, even though there were things he had to overcome.

Knowing people like that leads me to wonder how many times I've let much smaller issues stop me in my tracks, making me look and feel very "unlucky." There were occasions when my confidence would plummet because of a simple careless remark from a stranger, or because of a stupid remark that came out of my own mouth. It can be so easy to feel like an unfortunate worm, and then begin to act like one. The next thing we know, the world believes what we think of ourselves.

I realize time and chance are factors in everyone's lives, and there are things that are beyond our control. The things we can control, however, such as our behavior toward others and the words that come out of our mouths, can make a huge difference. They can even make us appear very "lucky" to the rest of the world.

Judy La Salle's e-mail address is judy@justadvice.com or visit www.justolder.com.