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Saturday, Sep. 05, 2009

Churches work on marriage

As definition is debated, focus is on strengthening.

FRESNO -- Steve and Jennifer Castillo renew their wedding vows with others at the end of a marriage workshop at the Fresno Convention Center. Jennifer and Steve have been married for four months.

"For us, that's a no-brainer," said Jan van Oosten, pastor of New Covenant Community Church, a Fresno church that regularly works with the local marriage coalition to present courses on enhancing relationships.

"People from a Christian perspective need good Bible teaching, good theology and hands-on training that churches can provide -- fundamentals of how to have a good marriage or repair a damaged marriage," he said. "We focus on that a lot."

While the Christian community is putting a lot of time, energy and money into trying to counsel people on the value of strong marriages, the effort comes when the definition of marriage is under heavy debate.

California voters last fall approved Proposition 8, a ballot measure that banned gay marriages. The California Supreme Court upheld the measure but gay-rights groups say they will continue to challenge the law.

McLain said the local coalition, which receives federal grant monies, presents events that are open to everyone. He points out the coalition "didn't take a stand" on Proposition 8.

He also acknowledges that some Christian organizations behind the fight for Proposition 8 are some of the same churches that present workshops endorsed by the coalition. "Pastors are moved by theology -- that marriage is between a man and a woman," he said. "I don't sense the politics as much as this is what people believe."

A more practical concern -- the economy -- likely was responsible for a disappointing attendance at the "World Class Marriage" workshop at the convention center, McLain said.

Organizers wanted participants to renew their wedding vows simultaneously, and hoped to break the Guinness World Record of 624 couples. About 130 couples attended. Cost was $48 per couple, a fee waived for anyone recently unemployed.

"It still worked out well," he said, adding that everyone is always welcome. "We don't ask at the door, 'Are you gay?' or 'Are you having an affair?'"

McLain got involved in the movement to strengthen marriages in 2004. At the time, he was a pastoral counselor at Link Care Center, a Christian counseling center in Fresno. He felt many pastors were ill-equipped and too busy to provide premarital and marital counseling.

"Churches taught principles on marriages but they didn't provide the tools for people to work on their marriage," he said.

Kent Eaton, former dean of humanities, religion and social science at Fresno Pacific University, said he believes the movement has been driven by the heavy debate over the definition of marriage and churches realizing they need to get their own houses in order.

Historically, "rather than use time and energy to strengthen marriage, churches have been more inclined to turn attention to those who would disagree with the traditional understanding of marriage, said Eaton, who in June was appointed vice president for academic affairs at McPherson College in Kansas.

Today, "there's just an awakening on the part of church leadership to realize they must do something to help save the institution of marriage," he said. "Churches, with their long-standing teaching on the sanctity of marriage, are the places to begin." The movement has grown and is strong in this region.

In 2008, about 2,300 people attended a two-day Love & Respect marriage conference at Peoples Church in northeast Fresno. The event featured Emerson E. Eggerichs, an author and one of the nation's top marriage counselors.

Rick and Jenny Saxton, who had divorced, say the communication skills they learned from that seminar helped them reconcile.

"We feel back on track; we have the resources," Rick Saxton said. "We feel it's a miracle from God." McLain said the coalition has booked 15 marriage seminars in these next few months, which is a high number compared to a year ago.

Healthy marriages are good for the community and good for the traditional marriage, said Jim Reyes, a Sanger pastor.

Studies show that strong marriages help ease divorce costs to city and county governments, reduce pressures on social services, and produce healthier children who are less likely to commit crimes.

Reyes helped launch a Latino marriage coalition aimed at those who speak Spanish. The coalition is now offering workshops presented in Hmong and Mandarin Chinese.

"If you have the core of a family stabilized, it will create an atmosphere where your children will live in a place that's vibrant and healthy," Reyes said. "The environment in the home also produces what takes place in the community. It trickles down."