Loose Lips: Time to light a fire under Arnold

Now's a great time to buy

After Barack Obama was elected president, some news agencies reported gun sales spiked. It seemed to suggest that those who cling to their guns wanted a few more on hand in case ... well, just in case.

Until now, Lips has kept Benchwatch 2008 "below the fold" -- newspaper-speak for stories that don't rise to a top-of-the-page placement.

No more, readers.

For Thanksgiving, we're gonna roast a big turkey. No, not the Detroit automakers. Those jet-setters do it to themselves. Governator Arnold is back in the mildly warm seat.

Not a day passes without Lips wondering when he'll finally send a legal-beagle in a black robe to Merced County. We want to see the wheels of justice increase their speed from one revolution per minute to one-and-a-half.

Just Wednesday, Calee-for-ee-uh's fearless leader announced 22 appointments, which included filling a couple of spots on the high-interest Recreational Trails Committee and appointing one of his top campaign donors to the Los Angeles Col-is-see-um Commission.

Not one was for the vacant judge position in Merced County Superior Court.

Lips knows there are plenty of other pressing issues. We've heard the governor is running low on cigars and that the Capitol's printers are running low on red ink.

But can't Arnold grab some attorney -- for goodness' sakes -- and send him or her here? If something doesn't give, Lips will have no choice but to file a lawsuit and grab a number to go before a judge.

Or perhaps it's that we're heading toward a financial Armageddon.

Lips has another theory. With foreclosed homes becoming drug dens or homes for the homeless, we've heard that real estate agents are looking into packing heat.

Agent Andy Krotik, who wears about a dozen hats, is looking to add a holster to his wardrobe. During a TV interview, he told viewers that the danger of walking into a house in the middle of nowhere has made him want to carry a sidearm.

It seems real estate agents are trying to figure out how best to say, "What can I do to get you out of this house today?"

The long and winding road

Councilman and Beatles Project ax-man Jim Sanders told Lips that he's been trying to justify his loss to Supervisor-elect Hub Walsh. Even though everyone who cast a ballot has already forgot about Election Day, Sanders is still ruminating.

Two ways he's boosting himself: One, he may have lost to Walsh by 2,239 votes, but he beat the write-in candidates by more than 5,000 votes. Of course, no one remembers second place.

Two, Sanders has helped take one commuter off Highway 99, improving the air quality by that much. Had Walsh lost, he'd still be cruising down to Madera County.

Maybe this is more evidence of a clean-air movement blowing across Merced.

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