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Saturday, May. 02, 2009

Debbie Croft: A simple, cheap date

MARIPOSA -- This morning before my husband left for work, with a gleam in his eye, he looked at me and said, "When I get home this evening, we can walk around the yard and look at all our irises, to see which ones have bloomed and what colors we have ... "

It's springtime in the country, and this is our favorite time of year. It's also what we call around here a cheap date. You know (or maybe you don't), when two people who really like each other go out and do something special -- together -- without the kids.

Wow! Now I have something to look forward to! I get to go out! (Outside, that is.) On a date! (Well, not exactly.) And maybe we'll have dinner, too! (Yeah, and guess who's cooking. Or I could munch on an apple while we walk around.) What should I wear? (The same jeans and baggy shirt I'm wearing now.) I wonder if he'll kiss me. (Of course, he will. All I have to do is ask. And maybe we'll even waltz around a bit.)

But don't feel sorry for me. It's our choice to live this way. We got tired of sitting in fancy restaurants, spending half a week's grocery budget on dinner for two; or spending $25 on a couple plates of gourmet salad (meat not included).

With all the tension over finances and the economy, everyone's looking for ways to cut back on expenses. And everything they're doing now that money's tight, is what our family does under normal conditions.

Whenever our budget gets tighter, for whatever reason, my husband will say, "We're gonna have to cut back."

OK. What can I cut out this time?

Cable television? Never had it.

Eating out? Hardly ever.

Buying new clothes? Yeah. At the thrift stores.

New car? Only the pre-owned kind. (And only after our other one has died a horrible death.)

The newest electronic gadgets? We can wait 'till the prices come down.

The latest books, magazines, movies and music? No thanks. We'll just borrow them from our local library. (Which is a neat place for a cheap date, by the way.)

Cheap dates can actually be fun. They're like anything else that requires little money, a little extra effort and lots of imagination.

Bike riding or walking the dog, picnicking (and swinging) at the park, having a cozy candlelight dinner at home while the kids spend the night at Grandma's, playing backgammon, and walking downtown holding hands, enjoying an ice cream cone and doing a little window shopping all qualify as cheap dates. Sometimes our cheap date is nothing more than working in the yard together, or folding a mountain of laundry while watching a movie; then we'll fix popcorn or fruit smoothies -- all in the comfort of our own home.

It's really a matter of perspective. The credit card companies would like us to think we're missing out, that we deserve more, or life would be better if only. ...

But the best things in life aren't things -- they're relationships. And the most valuable thing we can give to the people around us is our time and attention. Before America became prosperous, many families didn't have as much free time or disposable income, yet there was a close-knit feeling among the shared lives that worked and relaxed together.

Although I'm not old enough to have lived in the good ol' days, I can still appreciate the simple joys of a life well-lived.

Let's see ... What kind of cheap date could we plan for next week?

Debbie Croft writes about life in the foothill communities. She can be reached at composed@tds.net.