OAHU, Hawaii -- "I need alcohol!" exclaimed the bikini-clad young woman on a hot day in June as she splashed out of an artificial river after plunging down a water slide inside an artificial mountain at Aulani, Disney's new resort hotel in Hawaii.
It's not really the kind of proclamation you expect to hear at a Disney property, but this isn't your average Disney.
The mouse king's first endeavor in the Aloha State is in its first summer after its September 2011 grand opening in the Ko Olina resort area on Oahu's sunny southwest corner, about a 40-minute drive from Waikiki.
First-time guests still are figuring out what to expect from the $800 million-plus resort, which at completion in 2013 will have 481 Disney Vacation Club time-share units and 359 conventional hotel rooms. Hawaii-themed gardens, pools and water-play attractions are tucked between two towers, where a unit with a view runs close to $700 after tax.
What you won't get is "It's a Small World" blaring over loudspeakers. Instead, Hawaiian music from local talent is piped throughout the resort. And while Minnie, in flowered sundress and Size 42 robin's egg blue heels, and Mickey, in board shorts, do show up for photos near the pool and at the popular Character Breakfasts, they are fashioned as "guests," rather than hosts, at Aulani.
The resort's name is a Hawaiian word that means "messenger from a chief," and Disney brands the resort as a messenger of island culture, channeled, of course, through its own "everything is happy and safe" bubble of smiles with every employee a "cast member." Two visually striking 15-story towers suggestive of upended outrigger canoes sandwich a water park called Waikolohe Valley. From atop a man-made lava peak called Pu'u Kilo, there's a choice of two watery adventures: a quick slide through dark caverns or a lazy float on a plastic flotation tube along a 900-foot-long stream that winds through rock gardens with lifeguards about every 20 feet.
An 8,200-square-foot pool is the main swimming venue, and for youngsters there's a splash park called the Menehune Bridge, named for the legendary Hawaiian "little people" said to be responsible for mysterious happenings on the islands.
A unique feature is Rainbow Reef, what Disney calls "the only private snorkeling lagoon on Oahu," which overplays what's delivered: a man-made, eight-foot-deep saltwater pool, well away from the beach. Filled with colorful reef fish, it's like snorkeling in an oversize aquarium.
In the tradition of "no danger with Disney," users are required to wear inflatable vests. It may be inviting for children who've never snorkeled, but it's far from the natural experience you can find all over the islands for free. And Rainbow Reef isn't free: A swim with gear provided is $15-$20 per day on top of your lodging costs, or $29-$39 for the length of your stay. Hotel guests only.
It's not the only thing Disney sells that you can enjoy (for real) outside Aulani without cracking your wallet. For example, the Laniwai spa's hydrotherapy garden offers six different "rain" showers. I got my face misted without spending a dime while strolling Oahu's North Shore beaches. As with most things Disney, Aulani caters to youngsters, although there's a poolside bar. The Painted Sky teen spa has a do-it-yourself perfume mixology bar. For the youngest, there's Aunty's Beach House, hosted by a local resident said to be an expert on Hawaiian history and traditions, and known, following local custom, simply as "Aunty."
A number of kids' activities are included in the cost of a stay, such as arts and crafts, dress-up, games and a movie room showing Disney favorites. As I wandered, a lineup of youngsters wearing special backpacks with "Fish are Friends" logos (a la Disney movie "Finding Nemo") trooped toward Rainbow Reef for a fish-feeding adventure, one of Aulani's "premium experiences" (meaning there's an extra charge).
"Come on, everybody, let's hear it: Fish are friends, not food," bellowed the tour leader. Further along the path, a free hula lesson was under way.
Dining options and prices take frequent fire in Aulani guests' online comments, but my lunch seemed reasonably priced, by Hawaii standards, at the fine-dining 'Ama 'Ama, one of two restaurants (along with two bars and several quick-service food stands). If Aulani's choices don't suit you, options are few: It's part of an isolated strip of resorts, unlike Waikiki with its abundance of eateries.