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Friday, Oct. 09, 2009

Loose Lips: Hobbling candidate still on his feet

In a dramatic twist of events, Merced City Councilman Bill Spriggs is no longer running for mayor.

He's hobbling.

Spriggs was nowhere to be seen at the start of the City Council's study session Monday on homelessness. Particularly odd because he's never found a special meeting he didn't like.

The doors then burst open. Spriggs, on crutches and in Birkenstocks, cautiously stepped to the dais. (Cue "Eye of the Tiger.") Despite the pain meds, he remained as prickly as ever.

During a break, Spriggs joked one of his opponents had him Nancy Kerrigan-ed to gain an edge in the campaign.

The truth? Spriggs missed a step on a staircase during a walk that morning at UC Merced and fell onto his knee. He was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and later underwent surgery to repair the damage.

Fellow council members suggested he buy a Segway or perhaps a Rascal to keep canvasing neighborhoods.

Crutches, it seems, are part of the new uniform at the Thomas Wilkins Co., where Spriggs works as an appraiser. Wilkins was also seen relying on them to get around.

Phillips or slotted?

Don't be surprised if you see council candidate Bill Blake in the hardware aisle of any local home improvement store.

Blake recently came to the Sun-Star for a taping of the paper's radio show, "Off the 99," carrying a Stanley screwdriver with a broken tip, reminiscent of a jail-house shank. We figured maybe he was angry about coverage.

No, he's just been burning through screwdrivers. He hammers them into the ground to create a pilot hole before sticking in yard signs. Otherwise, the flimsy wire stakes won't penetrate the hard soil. As of Wednesday, he was on his third screwdriver.

In lieu of campaign donations, he'll take gift cards to Sears.

Speaking of Blake, he's joined candidates Spriggs, Josh Pedrozo and Mary-Michal Rawling in carving out some space on the Internet.

His address: http://votebillblake.home.comcast.net/~votebillblake/

We're willing to spot Blake the $20 to register billblakeforcouncil.com just to save voters from carpal tunnel syndrome.

Though it may have the worst address, it wins Lips' award for best design. The photos that rotate, and the text that moves.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Michele Gabriault-Acosta may have the worst yard signs across town. The black text on red background is nearly impossible to read without slowing down. Of course, in that sense, they do draw attention to themselves.

Fortunately, by Election Day, all will be black and white.

Loose Lips can be reached at editor@mercedsun-star.com.