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Friday, Dec. 05, 2008

Loose Lips: With no handlebar, how will he steer us?

City Manager John Bramble just doesn't fit in.

Sure, he's got the suit and tie, a red pen to cut budget and a pair of spectacles that he can peer through during council meetings.

But he's missing The Mustache.

If he really wants to replace Jim Marshall, the last City Hall leader, he needs it. Bad.

Lips heard when Marshall was perplexed he'd begin twisting the ends until the problem was solved. Now we know why he walked around with the well-coiffed handlebar 'stache

What's this manager going to do? Run his hand through his hair repeatedly? Wring his hands?

Bramble is also a fastidious note-taker, Lips heard. Both during his interview and at the first council meeting, the Bramblin' Man was blasting through his pad of paper.

This must be like the students in the front row scribbling notes to impress the teacher. We all know the council was divided about hiring him. Councilman Bill Spriggs cited his age -- 62! -- as a reason for why he shouldn't be picked.

Much to Spriggs' chagrin, Bramble didn't arrive with a walker or cane.

During the council meeting, Bramble alluded to his plans to spend a decade serving Merced. That means he'll be 72 ... just the right time to begin a presidential bid.

Politi¢al shopping $eason

How much does it cost to buy a politician? Lips thinks you can get one for pennies on the dollar. In Atwater, though, the going rate is $25,000.

That's the price tag to hold a special election in June to replace Joe "Mr. Fantastic" Rivero.

Though the four-person council interviewed 12 candidates, including former Councilwomen Lesa Rasmussen and Eileen Duddy, former Councilman Andy Krotik and other candidates with questionable psychic priorities, it could not pick someone.

Yet opening the taxpayers' threadbare purse to have the city voters decide in a special election came rather easy.

Government throwing around money? Whodathunkit?

Lips figures this is the council's first of many lame-duck non-decisions. Raise the garbage rates? Uh-oh, can't decide. Let's ask the voters.

Since the council is well on the road to being as relevant as a buggy whip, Lips thinks they should be paid accordingly.

This council should forgo its posh perks (health insurance, car and phone reimbursements and monthly stipend) that cost the city $100,985 this year.

Of course that's a little less now that there's a vacant seat on the dais. No worries -- the city's flush with money.

Benchwatch 2008

Lips is nothing if it isn't constant. So ... Arnold, we need a judge. We'll even take one in as-is condition. Until then, you'll stay in the harsh light of this column.

Loose Lips is hungry for tips. E-mail them to editor@mercedsun-star.com.