From the e-mails, voice mails, etc.:
TIME FLIES -- You've heard the old poem, "Twenty-five days hath September, 24 in April, 26 in June and 27 in November. Some of the rest have even less ... "
Or something like that.
According to the calendar featured on the Stanislaus County library's Web site -- www.stanislauslibrary.org -- 2010 will have 301 days -- 64 fewer than a normal, nonleap year. Each month is limited to four weeks, or four lines, whichever comes first. Everything else was accidentally lopped off.
Never miss a local story.
Or are the 64 missing days because of furloughs? Does this reduce your fines for overdue books and videos?
According to the library's online calendar, there will be no Memorial Day, and thus, no Memorial Day weekend. July Fourth will fall 31 days earlier than usual. I will not turn 53 in August as anticipated, and there will be no Halloween (to the dismay of kids and dental hygienists everywhere).
Here's the real grabber, though: As the last day of the last month, Christmas Day also will be New Year's Eve.
OK, I've had my fun.
County Librarian Vanessa Czopek was unaware of the glitch.
"I have no idea," she said. "I'll have to talk to IT about it. Maybe a file got corrupted or something."
So what happened?
Library officials created their calendar using a template available from Microsoft Publisher software. In that program, they could click on each month individually and all the days would be available. But in treating it as a snapshot, only the four lines from each month appeared.
"We didn't catch it," the library's Susan Lilly said.
They set about fixing it Monday.
HONORED -- James Layton of Riverbank was a Navy corpsman from Riverbank killed in Afghanistan in September.
The 22-year-old petty officer third class died while he was bent over, attending a wounded Marine lieutenant during a firefight near the Pakistan border.
Saturday, he'll be remembered by the Oakdale Lions Club, which will place a flag on a light pole in the Raley's supermarket parking lot. The event will include an honor guard, and former Oakdale High School band instructor Ron Quintanal will play taps.
The Oakdale Lions Honoring Servicemen program has placed roughly two dozen flags in the parking lots of Raley's and Save Mart supermarkets.
ICE CREAM DIPLOMACY? -- A trip to Baskin-Robbins would be an ideal campaign stop for at least two area politicians. State Sen. Jeff Denham switched races three times in three weeks (lieutenant governor to the state Assembly to Congress), so it would be fun to see how many times he'd change his mind before settling on a two-scooper at the place known for its 31 flavors.
A prediction? He'd opt for rainbow sherbet (orange, pineapple and raspberry).
Of course, he'd also have to pick from a regular, sugar or waffle cone.
Then there's Riverbank City Councilman Jesse James White, who at 20 and after just a year in office, wants to run for an Assembly seat. Flavor prediction: nutty coconut. As for his choice of cone? Definitely sugar. Hey, kids just like ice cream.
LOOK! UP IN THE SKY -- I went to Sonora this weekend and saw something strange: a big, yellow round thing in the sky. And the sky was blue, not white and 7 feet above my head. Someone up there said that really bright object was the sun, and I said, "Yeah, right." Who was he kidding? Everybody knows there's no sun from mid-December until the end of January.
What? That only applies to the valley?
On the way home, from the old Winkin' Lantern to Knights Ferry, the visibility was about 250 feet.
Back to life in a fog ...