Let’s Talk Health: Addressing school violence and its aftermath with children

Students said it best: You never think it’ll happen at your campus, not at home.

But when it does, a whole community is left frozen in shock.

I’m not referring only to the immediate campus community; fear, anxiety and concern trickled into the city. Alarmed residents were left with questions and uneasiness. After all, the stabbing attack that left four wounded and the 18-year-old perpetrator dead on Wednesday morning happened in their own backyard, the county’s pride and joy – “their” UC Merced.

Violence, while unfortunately at a high in Merced County, should never have to be experienced on a school campus. But, as UC Merced Chancellor Dorothy Leland pointed out during a news conference, there’s a concerning trend of growing violence among youth that is too many times manifested on school grounds and other spaces meant to be safe.

Even at a young age, kids are usually very aware of what is happening around them. More likely than not, children heard about Wednesday’s incident at UC Merced, just like they might have heard about other recent campus attacks around the nation.

After a tragic event such as this week’s, how does a parent or a teacher comfort children? How do they start a conversation to address issues such as school violence?

And how does one assure children they will be safe, that there will be no copycat incidents, when no one knows for certain?

Experts suggest open and honest conversations with children to address school safety.

Colleen O’Hare, a clinical social worker at Golden Valley Health Centers in Modesto, said it is important to ask questions. Simply asking children what they know about a specific incident can turn into a fruitful conversation. Information should be shared depending on the child’s age. Too much information or language too descriptive can create more fear, she said.

“We should let children know that tragedy does happen, but it does not happen to everyone, every day,” she said.

Asking children how they feel when they go to school and starting a safety plan can also help spark dialogue.

Before speaking with children, adults should have a grasp on their own emotions and fears, O’Hare said. “Children learn from what they see,” she said. “It’s important that we manage our own reactions first.”

To guide parents, Mental Health America, a nonprofit that promotes mental health for overall wellness, makes the following suggestions:

▪ Children should be encouraged to express concerns and feelings. While some children may be open to communicating their thoughts, others may be hesitant. Parents are advised to speak in terms appropriate for the child’s age and ask questions as direct as if they feel safe at school. Their ideas should be validated.

▪ Adults should also express their feelings. According to Mental Health America, children should know that they are not dealing with fear on their own, and that it is OK to be worried.

▪ Parents should look for behavior that indicates that their child does not want to return to school or participate in school activities. Youth, especially teens, may react by becoming more argumentative and withdrawn. Their school performance may also start to decline, experts say.

This story was originally published November 6, 2015 at 5:52 PM with the headline "Let’s Talk Health: Addressing school violence and its aftermath with children."