Debbie Croft: What language are you speaking?

Living in Mariposa, when someone asks where Pony is, he’s not referring to his horse. He’s talking about the coffee shop, Pony Expresso. But you can’t call it the Pony, because that would be incorrect.

It’s just Pony.

Trust me.

Every culture and subculture has its own way of communicating. And every segment of society has its own vernacular; each generation, culture, era, occupation, family shapes words and meanings unique to them.

For instance:

In rural counties, ag is short for agriculture. And dressing up for a wedding or funeral means wearing your newest pair of jean – the ones with no holes. Ranchers use words I can appreciate, because they speak of their love for the land and the animals they’re responsible for, rich or poor, day and night, rain, snow, hail, heat or drought.

Computer geeks talk in all caps: HTTP, URL, LAN, WAN and IP address. But not LOL, because that’s text talk. And as the mom of a teen I could go into that, but I get only about 20 column inches here, so I’ll save it for another week.

If you have your own domain online, you’re the administrator of a website or blog, not royalty.

Clothing communicates. An Arizona millionaire arrives to meetings with clients without combing his hair and changing from the sweatpants he wore while sleeping.

Or maybe you wear jorts (I had to look up this one). From the online Urban Dictionary, word for word: “Jean shorts. Worn mostly by children and douchebags. Jorts are perhaps the easiest way to recognize people you will not like. If you wear jorts, you probably don’t talk to girls. (Although) the term ‘jort’ does not apply to jean shorts worn by black people, as those are entirely acceptable.”

Huh?!?

Even love has a language. Men and women and children who live under the same roof face the ongoing challenge of learning each other’s language.

And modern family life has its own lingo.

We don’t call kids rug rats, they’re kiddos or spawn.

Free-range means unstructured play, not to be confused with playdates, which are written in your planner and usually require driving away from home, preferably near playground equipment and/or cheap ice cream.

Freaking is a parent-approved f-word, and the Hubs has replaced Hubby.

In today’s literary circles, words like “very” and “was” are rejected. They do nothing but sit on a page, take up precious space and discourage would-be readers from turning pages. (And buying your publications.)

The best writers reach beyond boring to dig up beautiful, intelligent, powerful, soul-stirring words that transform minds, generate unforgettable dialogue and latch themselves onto our hearts.

I mean, really, would you waste your time with this column if all I wrote was: He was, she was, it was and they was?

I mean, were.

But you knew that.

Words can destroy or affirm. They can be the difference between success and failure, depending on who’s speaking.

Teens are funny about their words. If someone uncool uses a phrase, most teens won’t touch it again. Ever. And if you’re the parent of a teen who recently spurned a once-cool word or phrase, but removed it from her vocabulary without you knowing, and you use it, thinking it’s hip, beware. Your teen and her closest teen friends will unfriend you in social media and remove themselves bodily from your presence just because you said “Totes adorbs.” Take my word for it.

What was cool last week isn’t destined to be cool this week.

“Mom,” she says, “stop saying ‘Yeah, baby,’ or I’ll start saying ‘Groovy.’”

Whatever!

In as little as three words, I can become your enemy: You’re a loser. I hate you.

Or I can offer friendship: Let me help. Please forgive me. I appreciate you. I love you.

Words can widen the culture gap or lessen it. As I live and work with people younger than, older than and different from me, my life is enriched. And, yeah, I text and I tweet, because I’ve seen the value of learning another language. And I’m hoping maybe someday they’ll become interested in learning mine.

This story was originally published May 28, 2015 at 2:54 PM with the headline "Debbie Croft: What language are you speaking?."