Old Trainer: Dealing with grief after losing a dog — and whether it’s time for a new pet

Dear Old Trainer: I lost my little mixed breed Annie last spring. I thought I’d stop missing her after a while, but I miss her more than ever. When you write about your dogs and the love they give you, my eyes fill with tears and I cry every time. I have never been so lonely. I think about getting another dog, but I know I’ll never find another perfect fit like Annie. What do you do when you lose a dog you loved?

Marion

Cody Wyoming

Old Trainer:

With rue my heart is laden

For golden friends I had…

Those haunting words from A.E. Houseman evoke the sorrow we all feel when we lose a beloved dog.

The SPCA says 80% of callers to their grief hotlines admit losing a pet hurt more than losing a parent.

Not long ago I lost the best dog I ever had. She fell in love with me the instant she saw me and let me know it. The rest of her life she was by my side, protecting me, loving on me. Her brain worked twice as fast as mine, but she let me think I was the smart one. In her mind the two of us were in charge of the world, but she allowed me to give the orders.

I still dream of her. Sometimes, running with my dogs on a lonely morning, I get the feeling she’s out there with me, slipping through the mist, on call, ready in case I need her. I’ll always miss her, but I don’t let it interfere with filling my life with dogs and the love they bring.

In “Desperado,” The Eagles sang, “you’re losing all your highs and lows.”

The song is about an old cowboy down on his luck. But it’s the perfect description of what happens to anyone who prefers to be lonely all their days, instead of getting a dog to make them happy every day because they fear they will be lonely years from now.

That’s no way to live.

Every new dog I adopt works their way into my heart as soon as they arrive. It’s a special talent dogs have and they work hard at it.

The perfect dog is out there waiting for you. I guarantee it. As Fitzgerald writes in “The Great Gatsby,” “Can’t repeat the past?... Why of course you can!”

Annie had unconditional love for you and would not want you to be lonely. Wouldn’t stand for it.

So here’s my advice. Contact your local shelter or rescue group and volunteer to spend time with their dogs. The world is full of dogs that need love. A few minutes with a human makes them happy all day.

As you work with the dogs, one of them will size you up, fall in love, and show you she is the dog for you. Spend time with her. Tell her about Annie. Tell her what you told me in your letter.

Dogs read human emotions with ease and the dog that chooses you will know how lonesome you are and know what to do to cheer you up. She needs you and you need her.

When the new one curls up beside you Annie’s spirit will be right there with you, wagging her tail the way she always did when she knew you were happy and safe.