Walk of Life: Graduation time is celebration for students and parents alike

The start of summer is not only a time for short sleeves and flip-flops, it’s the season for caps and gowns as many of us see our children celebrate graduation.

The young people we’ve nurtured since birth take ceremonious walks that lead them toward the lives of their own creation.

I cannot think about the time I’ll see my own sons graduate without getting misty-eyed, even though my oldest still has two years of high school ahead of him. Already, his younger brothers are casting lots for the bedroom they expect to become vacant the instant “Pomp and Circumstance” plays. “Stop it,” I have to tell them. “I still have him for at least two more years.”

How on earth do parents manage to get through these ceremonies without letting their tears turn the pathways into Slip ’N Slides? OK, I’m being overly dramatic. But even President Barack Obama said this year that he declined to speak at his daughter Malia’s high school graduation because he knew the emotion of the moment would be too much for him. “I’m going to be wearing dark glasses,” he said. “And I’m going to cry.”

I turned to a dear friend of mine for insight into how she has coped with the graduations of her three children.

“Just like each pregnancy and birth was different, so was each graduation,” Rosemarie told me.

The graduation of her oldest son, who has autism, “was the most exciting and unexpected,” she said. For her older daughter, who had struggled in school, it was relief. In two weeks, Rosemarie will see her youngest daughter make the walk: “It seems the easiest and most expected because she always did well in school,” she said.

“However, with all three, I felt the most proud,” Rosemarie said, “because, as a single mom and all the family struggles we’ve been through, I was able to get them all to that point in their life.”

She looks at the friends who became part of her family over the years and realizes that, for various reasons, not all of them are graduating and, of those who did earn a high school diploma, most are not taking steps to further their educations. “In fact, of every one of their closest friends, none have gone off to college,” she said.

And while graduation is a moment of celebration, it is also the beginning of a whole new level of questions and concerns.

“Graduation brings a sense of pride and relief, but also worry,” Rosemarie said. Relief “because they finally made it” but worry over whether they can stay on a path toward the careers they’ve chosen. In Rosemarie’s case, one girl wants to become a homicide detective and the other a forensic pathologist or medical examiner – challenging fields that are certain to require additional education.

“So, to answer your question,” Rosemarie said, “I don’t think it gets easier. It just feels like getting over the next hurdle.”

Long ago, I was told that once you become a parent, you will never stop worrying. You will never have a night free of fear. There is some truth to that, but I’ve also never had a day in which my heart is not overwhelmed with love, or a day where laughter did not erupt from someone’s silliness. Worry, joy, sadness, celebration – it’s all part of the wonderful mix of emotions that come on this amazing ride of parenthood.

I see many of my friends now welcoming home children from college, rejoicing to have their babes in arms again and it helps me remember that, even after my boys go off, there will be happy reunions ahead.

I think of my own high school graduation and cherish the moments I remember of seeing my parents there, of spending that final afternoon with my friends just as we prepared to launch ourselves into the great wide open. I remember thinking, there will never be another moment like this one. It will all change.

And, yes, it does. Our children grow and go off on their own. Our houses become quieter. The sunlight of the days becomes longer, then it wanes.

Every day is a new moment of creation and, all things considered, I cannot imagine anything more fulfilling than seeing our greatest creations – our children – step toward the full expression of their lives.

Congratulations to you, classes of 2016. And congratulations to you parents, the ones who got them there.

This story was originally published May 17, 2016 at 6:59 PM with the headline "Walk of Life: Graduation time is celebration for students and parents alike."