Ingram-Thurston: Honoring the mothers of Los Banos on their most special day
Sunday we celebrate the tapestry of life, the bonding of generation to generation woven through the love of mothers to daughters who become mothers who become daughters.
It’s a legacy of family, heritage and history that binds us strong enough to face the future, yet caring enough to respect and care for our past.
I turned to some of our local daughters for their feelings on their own mothers.
Karla Scott on her mother, Jean Willis
”My beautiful Mom taught me persistence as she earned a flat spot on her head from pressing against the glass ceiling of corporate America, all while raising four kids, maintaining a home, earning a degree, volunteering in her community and church and being an amazing bride to the husband who adored her. Mom taught me grit as she picked herself up after the loss of one son, and then another, and recently her beloved husband.
Mother taught me faith. Not the flowery platitude kind, but real, solid faith. The tough faith. The kind that endures. That you live , instead of just talking about. From nursery rhymes to needlework, from the perfect pie to perseverance, I learned it all from my Mom.”
Diana Pfitzzer
”Our Mother, Minnoe Delerio, was widowed at age 39. I was then 6, my sister Marilyn 3, and my mother was 8 months pregnant with my sister Kathy, who is now deceased. Our mom had to go out in the workplace at a time when most women were mostly home in order to support us.
She worked hard, but I don’t remember her ever complaining. She protected us. Mom never remarried because of her concern for our safety. Our mom instilled in us honesty, perseverance, and a strong work ethic. Marilyn and I are grateful for her influence in our lives.”
Linda Kijawa
Linda’s memories of her mother come from her Texan roots. “Well, my mom and my grandma taught me lots of life living lessons. I was allowed to ride my bike for as long as I wanted. I was allowed to hike up the mountains by myself. Yes, I also knew what work was from an early age. There probably are not too many people these days that know what a number two wash board was, or had to boil water on a wood stove to take a bath. Mom taught me how to sew my own clothes, and crochet for myself and for gifts. Today I am very thankful for everything I was taught from living on a farm and dairy the first sixteen years of my life. When I think of my mom it also hurts to know that I lost my mom at age 92 of that awful disease, Alzheimer’s.
Helene Mitchell
Asking Helene Mitchell about her mother always invokes smiles amid tears:
”Being asked to share something `in memory’ of my beautiful mother, Virginia Contreras, has had me sitting here trying to decide where to start as my eyes well with tears of pride, and honor for having had her raise me and mold me into the woman I have become. I owe everything to her. When someone tells me that I remind her of my mother, I take that as the utmost compliment and walk away in pure delight. One of my regrets is not spending as much time with my mother as I could have, not appreciating those precious moments that were truly gifts. My mother taught me so much and I love and honor her.”
Emotions about mothers usually come in bright colors or gray angers. Motherhood is a very time sensitive, yet eternal world. My mother’s mother died years before I was born. I grew up on stories of her that made her a saint in my mind. I always felt the loss of this woman I never knew. My mother talked often about her math teacher mother, her bible loving, calm, sweet mother who even on her deathbed spoke not of fears but of concern for the starving Aremenians.
She also left me frustrated. When, as a little girl my mother would cry out in pain with one of her migraines, she’d cry out for “ Mama, Mama”. That is all she wanted. I loved my Mother, and I wanted to ease her agony. Of all the things that I might be able to do, I could not be her Mama. When my mother was dying of Alzheimer’s she once more cried out for her Mama. Despite my own grief I told her, “Mama is coming.” I became a mother young. If I could have my wish all of my children and their children would all live near me. I adore my family. They are my success story, my happy memories and my hopes for the future. I do miss those days when I was the center of their universe.
There are times I sit too much by the phone waiting for them to call. That is a basic lesson of being a mother; first you hold your children close, and then learn slowly to let them go. Eventually your daughters will begin this same ritual. My daughters, Leslie and Lara, are wonderful mothers. My granddaughters are wicked smart and just dazzle me with their complex magic. One of them is the mother of a 7 year old.
What a gift it is to be able see the next generation and be called Gee Gee. It is heart filling. When I think of my mother my mouth seems so full of words that they jumble around inside me, restless to be said. I know I will never be able to say enough. Since my mother’s death 25 years ago, there has not been a day that I have not wished I had just one more day with the woman who gave me life. I sit here, now near her passing age, seeing my `doing’ time of life turning into my `watching’ time of life. I can only hope that the words I am unable to say, mothers and future mothers will understand.
To all Mothers, past , present and future, I salute you!
A tasty reminder
Marie Antoinette may have learned to regret that she told her subjects to eat cake, but I feel confident in saying “ Let us eat cupcakes!” Los Banos’ special Cupcake Lady will be selling her treat sensations on May 21 from 11 until 3 at 931E Pachecho Blvd. As a Soroptimist I am excited to share that 20% of the profits from the cupcakes sold will help to benefit the Soroptimist’s helpful projects and scholarships.
Mother’s Day at the Park will be open at Pacheco Park this Saturday and Sunday, so come out and enjoy yourself. This event is sponsored by the Downtown Association. Masks and social distancing required.