Girls are growing up in a dangerous ‘boy culture.’ There are solutions | Opinion
In a recent conversation with my 17-year-old daughter, she explained to me the way current headlines about sex trafficking are affecting her and her peers.
“The bro culture is everywhere,” she told me. “When girls are treated like objects, it becomes easier to forget we have feelings and worth.”
Her words hit home, as a mother and as a professional. I am a subject matter expert with more than a decade of experience applying research, evaluation, and strategic planning in partnership with school, government agencies, and nonprofits to eradicate sexual exploitation.
The ease and precision with which my daughter distilled the impact of sexual violence on her own well being and the vulnerability of youth to exploitation made me realize: youth are the experts we need to bring to this problem.
When my daughter was 12, I queued up ‘Sixteen Candles’ for what I hoped would be a nostalgic, lighthearted movie night. On the contrary, I found myself pausing again and again to point out troubling scenes: problematic portrayals of characters, casual jokes about sexual assault, the glorification of drunk hookups, and the relentless pursuit of sex at any cost. Instead of laughing together, it turned into a night to talk about alcohol, consent and rape.
I learned something: what was promoted as harmless entertainment in my own childhood was actually reflecting a culture of misogyny. Over four decades later, that culture has continued to evolve. Today it fuels not only what us academics frequently refer to as rape culture, but also one of our country’s most horrifying realities: domestic child sex trafficking.
In the United States, children are bought and sold for sex every day. This isn’t happening in some far-off place—it’s happening in our neighborhoods and communities. On August 29th, the Department of Justice issued 16 press releases announcing trafficking arrests in states from Louisiana to California. Yet most of these cases barely made the headlines.
Why? Because outrage is reserved for celebrity scandals. Headlines dissect whether President Donald Trump’s name appears in Jeffrey Epstein’s files or if Sean “Diddy” Combs will get a pardon after sex trafficking charges. Meanwhile, the market thrives in silence. A trafficker can earn up to $650,000 a year exploiting four children, preying on their need for love and belonging and the culture around them provides cover. Music normalizes women as disposable.
It’s not just girls who are harmed by this culture. Toxic masculinity harms boys, too. Social media algorithms target young boys with content that promotes harmful treatment of women and perpetuates misogyny. As the movie ‘Adolescence’ portrays, many parents don’t realize how quickly these ideas can take root. That Tate now faces charges of human trafficking and rape is no coincidence.
My daughter, who co-founded her high school’s Students for Survivors Club after participating in an internship to learn about the topic, also offered solutions.
First, teens need to be mindful of the culture they’re immersed in. Naming it helps weaken its power while bringing awareness to the problem of sex trafficking. Starting a high school club can be a great place to start, with information shared alongside fun activities.
Second, compassion matters. Instead of casting out kids who seem different — those who are quiet, withdrawn, or struggling — show kindness. A simple hello or small act of inclusion can protect someone from isolation, which traffickers exploit. After all, actual popularity is achieved through being friendly and well-liked, not by those who wield social power.
Finally, change the culture. Don’t laugh at harmful jokes. Don’t use degrading language. Choose to be an “upstander,” not a bystander, and certainly don’t participate. More importantly, actively create a culture we can be proud of. One that values the inherent value of all people. A culture that makes kindness and consent cool.
The teenage years will always be filled with hormones, identity struggles, and social pressures. But that doesn’t mean teenagers always have to endure bullying, exclusion, and sexual assault. Changing culture takes creativity, persistence, and innovation—qualities youth already embody. Youth have the power to create the culture of their future now.
Jill D. Sharkey, Ph.D, is a public voices fellow of the OpEd Project; a professor of school psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara; and a strategic planning and data consultant for the Santa Barbara County Human Trafficking Task Force.
This story was originally published September 13, 2025 at 5:00 AM with the headline "Girls are growing up in a dangerous ‘boy culture.’ There are solutions | Opinion."