Unvaccinated family? Here’s advice for Californians as tough holiday decisions approach

At this year’s holiday dinner table, expect to share turkey, potatoes and — your vaccination status?

After having to scale back on holiday gatherings, enforce extra safety measures or, for many, outright cancel Thanksgiving last year, some people are ready to enjoy the holidays with friends and family now that there are vaccines available for COVID-19.

But with only 67% of people over the age of 5 fully vaccinated in California and out-of-towners coming in to enjoy festivities with their loved ones, talking about the vaccine might be tricky. In fact, disagreements over the shot have caused a divide for some families.

Health professionals shared some advice on how to navigate the holidays with family members and friends with differing vaccination status .

Consider those at risk

People who are immunocompromised, have certain medical conditions or are unvaccinated are more likely to be severely ill if they contract the coronavirus.

The CDC recommends wearing a mask regardless of the level of transmission to protect these individuals. People in these groups should also wear a mask to protect themselves.

Set boundaries on what you are comfortable with

Psychologist Dr. Benjamin F. Miller said that decisions should be based on what you are most comfortable with as an individual for you and your family — whether it is requiring vaccinations or making sure everyone wears masks indoors.

“It comes down to you to set the boundaries, to be the one who’s saying this is what I’m comfortable with and this is what I’m not, and really sticking to that,” said Miller, who is the president of Well Being Trust, a mental health organization based in Oakland.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shared some tips people can use to safely celebrate the holidays, which include taking a COVID test and wearing a mask indoors.

Have an open dialogue based on facts

You need to have a straightforward and honest discussion with your family and friends, Miller said.

He said you can start by stating what you want. Then, if necessary, you should “leverage the facts.”

“Just say, we know that people are at higher risk of getting COVID if they’ve not been vaccinated and we want to protect our family,” Miller said. “Sometimes there’s something very powerful about leaning into science and the evidence, and not making it about you and your opinion.”

Miller added that people should have an open dialogue with one another. This means talking to your loved ones about why they don’t want to be vaccinated or why they don’t want to wear a mask.

“That’s a really productive way for both parties to feel that their voice is heard,” he said.

Remember there will be other holidays

If loved ones don’t want to abide by set boundaries, Miller said, “There’ll be other Thanksgiving holidays. There’ll be other times we can get together.”

This might mean, however, that some families will have to celebrate separately, away from friends and family. For those that may feel the holiday blues, Miller has some tips.

• Talk to a friend. “Talking it out is healing,” Miller said. “It’s cathartic. It’s a way to begin to process this with those around you that can help you.”

• If you don’t have someone to talk to, write down your thoughts. Or sing it out — do anything to get your feelings outside of you.

• If you feel like you need professional help, talk to your primary care provider.

“We have to recognize that this moment is not forever, that this virus, as prolific as it has been, might be with us in some permutation for the foreseeable future,” he said, “but we are going to get through this.”

This story was originally published November 20, 2021 at 5:00 AM with the headline "Unvaccinated family? Here’s advice for Californians as tough holiday decisions approach."